Sunday, Apr. 23, 2017
Released from your shackles, I danced with the jackals, and learned a new way to move
Saturday, Aug. 04, 2012
Byeee!
Tuesday, Feb. 21, 2012
You held the world in your arms.
Thursday, Dec. 15, 2011
Jingle ALL the way.
Thursday, Nov. 24, 2011
Every Goliath has his David.
Monday, Nov. 07, 2011
And I was like, bacon, bacon, bacon, oooooooh, bacon, bacon...
Wednesday, Sept. 21, 2011
Rent a flat above a shop, cut your hair and get a job.
Thursday, Sept. 08, 2011
I'm looking for the person who will smile at all my questions, who will tell me I'm just tired and send me back to sleep.
Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2011
Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again.
Wednesday, Aug. 10, 2011
Bring out the charge of the love brigade.
Monday, Aug. 01, 2011
Save it for someone who cares.
Thursday, Jul. 21, 2011
Gonna change my circumstance, to give myself a fighting chance.
Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2011
I need you to be my sunshine in London town; California's had more than its fair share.
Sunday, Jun. 26, 2011
Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag.
Saturday, Jun. 11, 2011
We all know you're hard because we've all seen you drinking from noon until noon again.
Tuesday, May. 24, 2011
Colour my life with the chaos of trouble.
Saturday, Apr. 23, 2011
I love you through sparks and shining dragons, I do.
Thursday, Apr. 14, 2011
Nice day for a sulk...
Wednesday, Apr. 06, 2011
We're here, we're here.
Tuesday, Mar. 29, 2011
Welcome to the jungle.
Saturday, Mar. 26, 2011
She took her winter coat from its plastic wrapper.
Sunday, Mar. 20, 2011
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar...
Thursday, Mar. 10, 2011
Once I was livid, once I was in hate.
Thursday, Mar. 03, 2011
You must have fallen from the sky.
Sunday, Feb. 27, 2011
We need to talk; step into my office, baby.
Sunday, Feb. 20, 2011
It's the perfect opening line.
Thursday, Feb. 03, 2011
Well, my heart has fallen down, but I talk myself around.
Thursday, Jan. 20, 2011
I'm waiting for you to get out of your situation with your job and with your life.
Sunday, Jan. 16, 2011
From Glasgow to Moscow, from London to Lille.
Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2011
Let's begin at the beginning: we're lovers and we're losers...
Saturday, Jan. 01, 2011
So come on, let's be young, let's be crass enough to care, let's refuse to live and learn, let's make all our mistakes again.
Wednesday, Dec. 29, 2010
I was choking on a cornflake, you said have some toast instead.
Thursday, Dec. 23, 2010
If you find yourself caught in love, say a prayer to the man above.
Friday, Dec. 17, 2010
Our time has passed so quickly, do you ever wonder why?
Tuesday, Dec. 07, 2010
I want the world to stop.
Wednesday, Dec. 01, 2010
It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes.
Thursday, Nov. 25, 2010
Even if the stars go out on me tonight...
Saturday, Nov. 06, 2010
I like your mild political stances, I like your wild spontaneous dances.
Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2010
You are gold (GOLD!).
Friday, Oct. 29, 2010
Maybe it's the beer I'm drinking, maybe I've stopped over-thinking.
Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2010
I guess she's an Xbox, and I'm more Atari.
Saturday, Oct. 09, 2010
We don't care who you are, SHANK SHANK SHANK.
Sunday, Oct. 03, 2010
Muslim heavy metal club.
Monday, Sept. 20, 2010
I've got my money, let's spend it up.
Thursday, Sept. 16, 2010
Nineteen, you're only 19 for god's sake, you don't need a boyfriend.
Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2010
Because this is what you've waited for, a chance to even up the score.
Wednesday, Sept. 01, 2010
Honey, you are a rock upon which I stand.
Friday, Aug. 27, 2010
I get no kick from champagne, just a massive kick in the teeth from you.
Thursday, Aug. 19, 2010
You're not as messed-up as you think you are.
Saturday, Aug. 14, 2010
Freeze-dried romance, five-hour phone conversations...
Monday, Aug. 09, 2010
Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.
Tuesday, Jul. 27, 2010
And I'll just be curious to see now how you'll make it by yourself when you're walking out ahead, unaware of anything.
Tuesday, Jul. 20, 2010
Boo to the business world, you know a girl who's tax-free on her back and making plenty cash... while you are working for the joy of giving.
Saturday, Jul. 17, 2010
While they search for a mate, my type hibernate in bedrooms above, composing their songs of love.
Saturday, Jul. 10, 2010
I don't know who to call in the middle of the night any more.
Thursday, Jul. 01, 2010
Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind.
Friday, Jun. 25, 2010
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle!
Saturday, Jun. 19, 2010
Bob's got a head like a ping pong ball.
Thursday, Jun. 17, 2010
She came to Romulus for a day.
Tuesday, Jun. 08, 2010
Well it's always a pleasure and never a chore, but you just don't know whether you're doing it for the right reasons.
Tuesday, Jun. 01, 2010
It was an effort tp type oin the web address god damn it
Sunday, May. 30, 2010
Caught in a bad romance (ra ra ah ah ah ah...)
Sunday, May. 16, 2010
Double denim is making a comeback.
Thursday, May. 06, 2010
I reckon Cameron would be a pretty smooth mover.
Thursday, Apr. 29, 2010
I am just a poor boy and my story's seldom told.
Monday, Apr. 12, 2010
It's like forgetting the words to your favourite song.
Friday, Apr. 09, 2010
Blue lips, blue veins, blue, the colour of our planet from far far away.
Sunday, Apr. 04, 2010
You have a regrettably large head; I would very much like to hat it.
Wednesday, Mar. 17, 2010
I'm waking up to us; we're a disaster.
Saturday, Mar. 06, 2010
And we have all the time in the world to get it right.
Friday, Feb. 26, 2010
And I know it's going to be a lovely day.
Friday, Feb. 19, 2010
Don't fall asleep, riding from Californ-i-a to New York.
Saturday, Feb. 13, 2010
He's teaching mamas and papas how to be a little cool.
Saturday, Feb. 06, 2010
I don't love anyone.
Saturday, Jan. 16, 2010
And I wonder if she'll be the very same.
Sunday, Jan. 03, 2010
I need you to believe that the dark time will fade.
Tuesday, Dec. 29, 2009
Take your carriage clock and shove it.
Thursday, Dec. 24, 2009
You will have a boy tonight, on the first bus out of town.
Tuesday, Dec. 22, 2009
You know my wandering days are over; well, does it mean I'm getting boring?
Wednesday, Dec. 16, 2009
I was Jonanthan to your David, you're still King.
Tuesday, Dec. 08, 2009
So don't play with me 'cause you're playing with fire.
Monday, Nov. 23, 2009
So tired, tired of waiting, tired of waiting for yooooou...
Thursday, Nov. 19, 2009
Smile like you mean it.
Monday, Nov. 16, 2009
I'm just some guy she's shagging.
Wednesday, Nov. 04, 2009
She don't walk like a cripple should.
Monday, Oct. 26, 2009
Meet you at the statue in an hour.
Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009
I wanted a longer kiss.
Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2009
No.
Sunday, Sept. 27, 2009
We got no flowers for you.
Friday, Sept. 11, 2009
Is it possible for you to go anywhere without being chatted up?!
Sunday, Sept. 06, 2009
Now fuck off, I need to go home.
Wednesday, Sept. 02, 2009
I should really join the RAF.
Tuesday, Sept. 01, 2009
I remember when I saw the sea freeze.
Sunday, Aug. 30, 2009
How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take?
Friday, Jun. 05, 2009
And to tell you all I want is now.
Monday, Jun. 01, 2009
But don't be upset if I fall on my knees and beg like a dog.
Sunday, May. 24, 2009
When you were young.
Monday, May. 18, 2009
I'm so in love with you, I'll be forever blue.
Monday, May. 11, 2009
You take too many photographs.
Sunday, May. 10, 2009
Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight.
Monday, May. 04, 2009
Wrapped up in books.
Sunday, Apr. 26, 2009
Sexy boy.
Thursday, Apr. 23, 2009
Something you said caused me to take a new tack with you.
Thursday, Apr. 23, 2009
If I had one drop of common sense, I would have already left.
Tuesday, Apr. 14, 2009
Get up, recover, 'cause you'll never dance again.
Friday, Apr. 10, 2009
I try to discover, a little somethin' to make me sweeter...
Tuesday, Apr. 07, 2009
If you want to jerk your pork like John, check out the Channel 4 website.
Sunday, Apr. 05, 2009
Noooooooooooo.
Thursday, Apr. 02, 2009
Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world...
Monday, Mar. 30, 2009
Whaddya lyke?
Thursday, Mar. 26, 2009
You compare everything to cats!
Saturday, Mar. 21, 2009
Darling, I don't mean to alarm you but... your sex is on fire.
Sunday, Mar. 15, 2009
We can't go on together with suspicious minds.
Friday, Mar. 06, 2009
Living's much too easy, and dying would be some kind of bore
Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2009
You take regular photo into Snappy-Snaps...
Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2009
Harumph.
Monday, Feb. 16, 2009
I have learnt my lesson well...
Sunday, Feb. 01, 2009
What are you wearing tonight? Well, I'm wearing a very attention-seeking dress.
Wednesday, Jan. 28, 2009
Tell me all about your day.
Friday, Jan. 23, 2009
What do you think you'd be like as a lesbian?
Sunday, Jan. 18, 2009
Every time you close your eyes...
Monday, Jan. 12, 2009
I see a wildnerness for you and me.
Thursday, Jan. 01, 2009
And there'll be sun sun sun all over our bodies...
Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2008
Drinking tea with the taste of the Thames.
Friday, Dec. 26, 2008
You will be married in the morning
Saturday, Dec. 20, 2008
How about 'free prostitute'?
Thursday, Dec. 18, 2008
I give myself to sin again.
Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2008
I'm sitting on my empty bed.
Friday, Dec. 12, 2008
Oh crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal... Ah, it is too hot today.
Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2008
Chill pill
Tuesday, Dec. 09, 2008
Save me, I'm naked and I'm far from home
Thursday, Dec. 04, 2008
Surprise!
Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2008
[Thick Glaswegian accent] Oooooh nooooooo!
Sunday, Nov. 23, 2008
She's just a small-town girl, living in a lonely world...
Friday, Nov. 21, 2008
Kylesies!
Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2008
I could never slap a girl with my penis. I'd always think of her as the girl who I slapped with my penis, rather than as a person.
Thursday, Nov. 13, 2008
Maybe I should have just played it cool, like yeeeah?
Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2008
It looks like an egg on rollerskates.
Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2008
Watching the advert with the giant chocolate man is not a good idea when you're hungry.
Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2008
Are those Playboy trainers?!
Friday, Oct. 24, 2008
Blimpy.
Friday, Oct. 17, 2008
I'm kind of a big deal.
Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2008
Beatrice!
Monday, Oct. 13, 2008
And if you need to kiss me, then you'll almost definitely miss me when I'm gone.
Wednesday, Oct. 08, 2008
We're moving to Shanghai.
Saturday, Sept. 27, 2008
You're my funny little frog.
Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008
Surely the Finns would know the difference between men and women, otherwise there wouldn't be any little Finns.
Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2008
I wish they all could be Californian girls.
Saturday, Sept. 13, 2008
I'm sizing them up compared to Derek.
Wednesday, Sept. 10, 2008
We're hiding!
Monday, Sept. 08, 2008
Do you want squeezy?
Friday, Sept. 05, 2008
Mini-mini-mini-mini Discoooo!
Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2008
Byeeeee!
Saturday, Aug. 23, 2008
I want your glowsticks!
Monday, Aug. 18, 2008
Ba-BOOM.
Thursday, Aug. 14, 2008
I'm missing Jezza!
Thursday, Aug. 07, 2008
Turniptivity!
Tuesday, Aug. 05, 2008
I haven't got any smileys.
Thursday, Jul. 31, 2008
Bridget Jones telegramese
Friday, Jul. 25, 2008
Number 16 Bus Shelter Smith
Sunday, Jul. 20, 2008
ARGH it was 1982!!! I was going to PUT 1982!!!
Saturday, Jul. 19, 2008
Get me away from here, I'm dying.
Tuesday, Jul. 15, 2008
I've missed this.
Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2008
Everytime I'm down, you can make it right, and that makes you LARGER THAN LIFE!
Friday, Jul. 04, 2008
What kind of a nurse are you if you can't tell the difference between a pulse and a vegetable?!
Tuesday, Jul. 01, 2008
You're the jammiest bastard ever.
Wednesday, Jun. 25, 2008
Pudding...!
Monday, Jun. 23, 2008
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!
Thursday, Jun. 19, 2008
That's the most repetetive seagull I've ever heard.
Sunday, Jun. 15, 2008
Oh hai!
Thursday, Jun. 12, 2008
Fine.
Monday, Jun. 09, 2008
I have a third in Bed Selling.
Saturday, Jun. 07, 2008
I dunno, redneck repellent?
Friday, Jun. 06, 2008
At least it didn't smell like penis.
Thursday, Jun. 05, 2008
Have you had a Polly Pineapple yet?
Tuesday, Jun. 03, 2008
Positivity in the teacakes.
Saturday, May. 24, 2008
I think he meant mediocre.
Thursday, May. 22, 2008
You have suffered enough at war with yourself, it's time that you won.
Thursday, May. 15, 2008
Did Big Jock know your window's broken?
Monday, May. 12, 2008
H2O - OH YEAH!
Saturday, May. 10, 2008
You're actually blocked.
Sunday, May. 04, 2008
I'm hangwy.
Thursday, May. 01, 2008
Would that be three times or two and a half?
Tuesday, Apr. 29, 2008
You know it's not going to happen.
Saturday, Apr. 26, 2008
Never do the face again!
Thursday, Apr. 24, 2008
You pick out the articles I would never notice.
Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2008
...
Sunday, Apr. 20, 2008
I kind of want to get it to see if it's what I'm picturing in my head.
Tuesday, Apr. 15, 2008
No, go back in, I'm being sneaky!
Thursday, Apr. 10, 2008
We're going magic bra shopping soon.
Wednesday, Apr. 09, 2008
"Pingusies".
Tuesday, Apr. 01, 2008
I do not sleep with my mouth open!
Sunday, Mar. 30, 2008
Push through the burn!
Saturday, Mar. 29, 2008
Percy Pigs coming through!
Thursday, Mar. 27, 2008
And then I thought, she's got rather big hands...
Tuesday, Mar. 25, 2008
That child is so cute. I want it for myself.
Monday, Mar. 24, 2008
That just ain't penguin.
Sunday, Mar. 23, 2008
Wives ho!
Thursday, Mar. 20, 2008
Bev, you're fired. But first, could you possibly Hoover the drawing-room?
Saturday, Mar. 15, 2008
My duvet.
Monday, Mar. 10, 2008
There's one thing he can't buy... a dinosaur!
Thursday, Mar. 06, 2008
I'm a bit hungover.
Monday, Mar. 03, 2008
Gnargh.
Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Who reads out erotica when they're six?!
Saturday, Mar. 01, 2008
She said 'sugar foetus'!
Wednesday, Feb. 27, 2008
Do we have any lollies left?
Monday, Feb. 25, 2008
My socks are like aquariums.
Saturday, Feb. 23, 2008
Do you reckon I can change these twenty pound-coins...?
Tuesday, Feb. 19, 2008
Today we are going to play a new game: POLICE. SCHOOL.
Thursday, Feb. 14, 2008
These women should not be loose!
Wednesday, Feb. 13, 2008
It was more like a toy town of gold.
Monday, Feb. 11, 2008
I thought they said 'reuniting Sonny and Cher Muslims'.
Sunday, Feb. 10, 2008
I'm all Palin-ed out.
Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
You look like a middle-aged prostitute.
Monday, Feb. 04, 2008
Loccccccch.
Saturday, Feb. 02, 2008
We're actually like a married couple now.
Wednesday, Jan. 30, 2008
But she had a great rack.
Monday, Jan. 28, 2008
Yeah, it's always about you isn't it Jing!
Saturday, Jan. 26, 2008
But that implies I'm eating my own child.
Wednesday, Jan. 23, 2008
I'm going to be The Jammie Dodger.
Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Wow, we're wild and crazy people, aren't we.
Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2008
You can be Pie Hard!
Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
CHAMPIOOOON! CHAMPIOOOON!
Thursday, Jan. 10, 2008
I still wouldn't cock her.
Saturday, Jan. 05, 2008
He's not eccentric in an "Oh, I'm off down to the basement!" sort of way.
Friday, Jan. 04, 2008
My dad's told me to tell you that you're a chicken.
Saturday, Dec. 29, 2007
We can never say goodbye normally, can we?!
Thursday, Dec. 27, 2007
How did I become a prostitute?
Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2007
Maybe I should eat something with fibre to make my bowels run like clockwork.
Monday, Dec. 24, 2007
I can has cheeseburger?
Thursday, Dec. 20, 2007
McMarvellous!
Wednesday, Dec. 19, 2007
'Cause I am so bittaaaah.
Saturday, Dec. 15, 2007
He won't be the next Michael Buble. He cries too much.
Monday, Dec. 10, 2007
I wish I was a guy and you were gay.
Wednesday, Dec. 05, 2007
I wanna work with grizzly bears... cuddly!
Friday, Nov. 30, 2007
That's where all my books are. In the library.
Friday, Nov. 23, 2007
Guys... do you think you could have woollen underwear?!
Wednesday, Nov. 21, 2007
What would you do without me, eh?
Sunday, Nov. 18, 2007
Spolia!
Monday, Nov. 12, 2007
You're more beautiful than anything I saw in Barcelona.
Monday, Nov. 12, 2007
I want to hold your hand when it's freezing.
Sunday, Nov. 11, 2007
Our Lady of Skegness
Saturday, Nov. 10, 2007
I bleed on the panini!
Tuesday, Nov. 06, 2007
Why would you buy pre-grated cheese? That's like buying pre-wanked cock.
Friday, Nov. 02, 2007
Because I'm the sherriff of this town.
Tuesday, Oct. 30, 2007
Why is the quality of your eternal life dependent on life on Earth, which is effectively one cosmic second?
Monday, Oct. 29, 2007
I got up to the top of the Thieves Guild; it was the happiest day of my life.
Saturday, Oct. 27, 2007
A lifetime of working in a nuclear power plant has given me a healthy green glow...
Monday, Oct. 22, 2007
Oh god, for once I got the right end of the stick...
Thursday, Oct. 18, 2007
I'll have to start calling you Alan soon.
Sunday, Oct. 14, 2007
I like to give!
Friday, Oct. 12, 2007
Let me finish my sentence! I was going to say that that woman looks like Annie only... only... a hundred times worse.
Sunday, Oct. 07, 2007
It looks like a giant piece of copper cheese.
Thursday, Oct. 04, 2007
"I am the smallest." What does THAT mean?
Monday, Oct. 01, 2007
May I have a Nob?
Saturday, Sept. 29, 2007
I've been driving in my car listening to Jeremy Claaark-son.
Tuesday, Sept. 25, 2007
I hate old women. They're so... horny.
Saturday, Sept. 22, 2007
We were going to enter the dodgeball competition as The Phantom Shitters.
Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007
IT WAS THAT BLOODY PINT!
Tuesday, Sept. 18, 2007
Oh yeah, I'm having the time of my life.
Sunday, Sept. 16, 2007
I have no idea where anything is.
Friday, Sept. 14, 2007
You look like a midget pole dancer!
Thursday, Sept. 13, 2007
ALRIGHT.
Monday, Sept. 10, 2007
Oh look, it's the "Sheep go moo" boys again!
Saturday, Sept. 08, 2007
I want a dwink, Mummy, I want a dwink!
Tuesday, Sept. 04, 2007
Fortune favours the thin.
Sunday, Sept. 02, 2007
Instead of kicking in the womb they'll be clicking their heels.
Saturday, Sept. 01, 2007
That's how they hunt in Finland.
Thursday, Aug. 30, 2007
So we were having a snow fight in my kitchen in the middle of August.
Tuesday, Aug. 28, 2007
I have acquired a feral child.
Sunday, Aug. 26, 2007
I'm not really in a cheese sort of mood.
Friday, Aug. 24, 2007
We can watch the old people foraging for food.
Wednesday, Aug. 22, 2007
I'm looking for memories...
Tuesday, Aug. 21, 2007
Stupid pedestrian scum!
Saturday, Aug. 18, 2007
Cousin in red is dancing with me... beard to beard.
Friday, Aug. 17, 2007
I can't believe I'm the only one that's experimented.
Thursday, Aug. 16, 2007
You can go into Smug-Mode now.
Saturday, Aug. 11, 2007
Oi!